Music fan Kevin Beaudette, of Tupper Lake, NY, sustained minor injuries when he fell into a gorge while trying to sneak into a Nickelback concert at the Saratoga Performing Arts Center. Not out of the concert, multiple sources have verified, but into. It’s true.
Beaudette, 22, was lifted by rescue basket from the gorge, which turns out not to be a metaphor for the empty and endless emotional abyss left in one’s soul as a result of listening to Nickelback, but rather a 40-foot crevasse in the earth, from which a person can actually be retrieved. Beaudette was treated for cuts and bruises at Albany Medical Center, and released Wednesday. Authorities believe alcohol was a factor in the accident and in the life choices that led to this level of Nickelback fandom.
More like this: