For Whom The Bell Tolls: How To Rock Into The Great Beyond

posted in: Music News • Rock

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Rarely do we choose to confront our morality head on. Yes, one day you, me and everyone else will pass on to the great beyond. Yes, it’s a sobering thought, but who says you can’t go out in style? Now in the past, if one was a member of the landed gentry, you could have a top composer of the day write you a requiem. These days it would probably be harder to find someone to write a song about you for when you died, unless you were in the band. Fortunately, there are a few options out there for the discerning consumer who wants to go out with a little musical flair.

Vinyly, a UK based company, has recently begun offering something for the ultimate vinyl lover. For a little over $3,000, the company will take your ashes and press them into vinyl and produce a real, working record. Not only that, but you can make multiple copies of the record for you loved ones. For an additional fee, the good people at And Vinyly will write a song just for you. Users have the option to choose a plain, unadorned jacket sleeve or have an acrylic and ash portrait commissioned by artist James Hague. If the price is right, then you can R.I.V.”Rest In Vinyl.

Alright, something for the audiophiles, that’s cool. But what if you’re thinking to yourself, “When I finally kick the bucket, I want something a bit more rocking for my sendoff. After all, I’m going to be spending the rest of eternity in Valhalla with the rest of the viking metal gods and I really want something that reflects that.” Well, fret not metal head for KISS has you covered with the KISS Casket. The casket is an official piece of KISS merchandise which you can purchase through their Web store. For a cool $3,299, you can have a funeral blessed by the hard rock gods with a coffin bearing the KISS logo, the mugs of Stanley, Frehley, Criss and Simmons. And for another $700 you can get the “premium” model, which is decked out in painted flames and the iconic band in pose over the lid.

Besides, you’d be in excellent company as an owner of the casket; Dimebag Darrell of Pantera was buried in one”along with Eddie Van Halen‘s Bumble Bee guitar (!)”following his tragic, untimely demise in 2007 . And, if you want to be cremated instead of six feet under KISS has you covered on that, too. You can check out the KISS urn and even more unbelievable memorabilia, including official KISS wine and KISS fine art, at the official online KISS store. You can’t make this up, folks.